I used to own a 2005 MINI Cooper S that I thought was pretty damn cool. Black on black, no sunroof, 6-speed. Once, I drove it to a NASCAR race at Pocono. Nearing the track there was a ton of traffic on the local roads and I was just crawling along in line – windows down – yo yo what’s up race fans! – when I inched past three shirtless guys standing in a gravel driveway drinking beers who all locked eyes on the tiny car. Uh oh… it’s inevitable… “Hey! That’s a BITCH car!”
Yes, BMW’s MINI reboot is considered by some to be a decidedly effeminate vehicle choice. This bias runs deepest among folks who either don’t have a shirt, or do have Truck Nutz. I always admired the first-gen MINI for its pleasingly retro looks, and also what it could do: it could be parked anywhere, with a 15% reduction pulley on the supercharger it was especially quick, and with the back seats folded I could fit a full 5 piece drumset with hardware, cymbals AND a passenger. The perfect NYC car in a lot of ways. I bravely shouted back “Even Dale Earnhardt Jr. owned a customized 2004, you guys!” but I had of course already rolled my windows up and they couldn’t hear me.
My friend texted me a picture of the above MINI this morning on the streets of Brooklyn, sporting a rather extensive flames graphics package. Do you think the owner of this MINI is compensating for driving a “bitch” car? Or just ain’t skeered?
Photo credit: Abe Seiferth
